


ANGST Poly Hamilcast x Reader Soulmate AU

by sam_the_unholy_potato



Series: Poly Hamilcast x Reader Soulmate AU [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Cheating, Christmas, F/M, Infidelity, M/M, Multi, Neglect, Polyamory, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Suicide Attempt, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-11 02:38:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16467101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sam_the_unholy_potato/pseuds/sam_the_unholy_potato
Summary: So these are angst scene from my phrs 'verse, which is not completely written yet, but I do have a timeline and LOTS of headcanons written out. Even when I do have it completely finished, I'll separate all the fluff, all the smut, and all the angst into separate little books, because some ppl don't give af about plot and just want fluff/smut/angst. I am generally one of those people lol. Enjoy!ALSO trigger warnings for individual chapters will be in the notes.





	1. Anthony's Affair with Jon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: graphic-ish? descriptions of smut (aka sex)

“Knock, knock, coming in, babe,” y/n said, opening Anthony’s dressing room door. What stood in front of her gave her heart palpitations. Ant and Jon breaking a kiss for Ant to sit straight back up and ride Jon’s dick. Most of Ant’s body flushed red, head thrown back, hair slicking to his skin from the sweat, exhaling breathy moans, hands clawed on Jon’s chest. And his cock.

His cock was leaking profusely, hard as a rock and hitting his stomach with every bounce. They hadn’t noticed her. That was good. Couldn't deal with Ant having to carry the guilt in his stomach and ruin his last performance. Would do it at home. With everyone there. Couldn’t do it alone. Didn’t want to.

Was gonna tell everyone about her pregnancy tonight. Give them all two reasons to celebrate. Now? Now she wasn’t even sure she wanted to keep the baby. Knew it was Ant’s based on how recently they had sex. Not only that, but the feeling in her gut of knowing it was his; couldn’t explain it, just knew.

Couldn't keep the baby. Couldn’t carry, much less raise what was the product of someone who broke her heart. Could just get rid of it. No one would have to know. No one would have to know it was there in the first place. Gale could keep a secret. Gale was the one that knew because she bought the pregnancy test from Dollar General. Had Gale do it because she didn’t want to get her boys excited and it turn out negative. Didn’t want one to think they were the last to find out. Didn’t want them to think she had favorites.

She did have a favorite freckled person. Did have a favorite tree. Did have a favorite person with an afro. Did have a favorite person with oily black hair and olive skin. But never favored one as a human being. Did now, though. Didn’t know who her favorite was. Did know who her least favorite was, though.


	2. First Christmas + Eve after twins are born

Sebastian and the twins had been asleep for a while. Naomi, however, saw the narwhal scene in _Elf_ and begged Mamá to let her watch the movie. y/n tried to explain it was the only narwhal in the movie and he didn’t reappear, but Naomi wasn’t having any of it.

So here y/n was, Oak asleep in their emperor size bed, ‘exhausted from traveling’ as he put it, and Naomi was passed out on her lap, snug in her octopus onesie with an empty cocoa mug, no more than 90 minutes into the movie. y/n sighed, but turned off the TV and tucked her into her bed nonetheless. Padded to the guest room where she had resided for almost the past year(it was too empty and lonely in the master bed without anyone else in there with her; only slept there if Naomi insisted on spending the night with her) as she fluttered her eyes closed and hoped Lin, Daveed, and Anthony’s planes would land and they would get home before the kids woke up for Christmas.

☆          ☆           ★          ☆          ☆

y/n breathed an audible sigh of relief the next morning when she got up to make Christmas breakfast and there were three more coats lying on the ground. Naomi must’ve heard her moving, because next thing she knew, tiny feet were smacking the wood floor, followed by a cheerful “good morning Mamá! Happy Christmas!” y/n picked up the toddler and returned the sentiment, and asked what kind of pancakes she wanted. “Rainbow M&Ms! Wait, no! Red and green M&Ms!” was the answer.

“I think that can be arranged,” y/n said, putting Naomi down and telling her to wake up her dads and Sebastian. “But don’t try to wake up the twins, ok? Let Mamá do that.” Naomi gave a frim nod in understanding and hopped off.

Breakfast was great fun for the kids, but not as much for the adults. Naomi had a pancake in the shape of a Christmas tree, Sebastian’s in a much smaller tree, and all the others in plain circles. Daveed complained that he didn’t have enough M&Ms. Taylor threw up her baby food not five minutes after getting it down.

When they all clustered around the Christmas tree, there was a number of gifts in shiny red and green that had not been there when y/n went to sleep the night before. Ant was on Lin’s lap, and Oak was laying his head on Daveed’s shoulder. Naomi was bouncing happily, and Pegs was sitting next to her in her doggy Christmas shirt. Sebastian was on Naomi’s other side, one thumb in his mouth and his other hand on Naomi’s. The twins were on the ground gurgling and kicking their feet. Thomas was still asleep, as he was most mornings.

The first gift Naomi opened was a 140 piece Crayola set and the ultimate Crayola crayon collection, with 152 different colors, both from Anthony. Sebastian got a 40 piece Crayola marker set and one of the Crayola drawing studio things to go with, also from Anthony. The twins got bath crayons-also Crayola-from Anthony.

Naomi and Sebastian both got a giant play kitchen and playhouse along with multiple stuffed animals from Daveed. The twins got light up and speaking dog and cat that was supposed to teach them colors, numbers, and the alphabet in English and Spanish.

From Lin, Naomi received a science kit, colorful microscope and everything, and Sebastian got a slime lab. The twins got stuffed animals. Albeit several and they were all larger than either twin was, but stuffed animals nonetheless.

Lastly, Oak got Naomi and Sebastian a 300 piece mega blocks set, a 4.5’ by 4.5’ town with cars and opening up buildings and everything, and lastly, an electronic train set where you could rearrange the tracks for an almost endless number of shapes and paths. The twins got coordinating clothes. Lots and lots of clothes.

From y/n, Naomi got the watercolor paint set that she had been begging for ever since she saw it at her friend’s house. Sebastian got 10 Dr. Suess books and a whiteboard with 30 different dry erase markers. The twins, having learned to walk a while ago and were now working on more complicated foot patterns, got a tiny trampoline, a trike each, and one of those little cars that you push by walking.

Naomi and Sebastian clamored to Naomi’s room to unbox and try out all their new toys while the twins and adults stayed in the living room.

From y/n, Daveed got a cologne that was the only thing he had been showing interest in for the past few months. Lin got a fancy new fleece coat, complaining that he wanted a new coat since his was worn out, but all the good ones were too expensive. Oak got seven new dress shirts of his favorite brand, which he loved, but also complained were too expensive. Lastly, Ant got a new sex toy that Lin had said they would ‘absolutley not get’ because it was ‘insanely and unnecessarily expensive.’

There were no more gifts under the tree. y/n was upset, but not surprised that it had slipped their mind to get anything for her. Supposedly, the boys all gave their gifts to each other when they all got home last night. None of the boys made any move to get a gift from someplace besides under the tree.

y/n took the twins to their room, cleaned out Thomas’ litter box, and began her chores for the day.


	3. The Fight + Suicide Attempt + the Boy’s Reaction PART 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> TW: Graphic description of attempted suicide, briefly talks about an unhealthy BDSM relationship, but that should be it. Please PLEASE tell me if I forgot anything!
> 
> Without further ado:

Little things, at first. Coming home late. Pushing her away in bed when she tried to get closer. Kissing her less than the others. Not calling every single day when they were out of town.

Then bigger things. Forgetting her birthday. Being out of town for months on end. All meeting the others for their anniversary despite their busy schedules and making no move to invite y/n or come home to the kids. Finding out Daveed had blocked her number because she ‘constantly calls me over stupid stuff when I have better things to be doing.’

y/n wasn’t mad. No, mad wasn’t the right word. She felt useless knowing that they all still loved each other with an undying passion, yet had seemed to have forgotten she existed. Found herself calling on Gale's phone so that they would answer. Found herself lying that Naomi was hurt so that they would come home.

Didn’t come home when she miscarried. Just said that one of the others would come home for a day or two to comfort her. No one came home. They were all too busy with the important stuff.

All the boys met up at the airport, all of their flights landing within an hour of each other. All anxoius, wanted to know if their _precious baby girl_ was ok. Debated whether a taxi or running would be quicker in the streets of NYC. Ended up taking a taxi and the backroads. Would usually be slower, but was much faster considering the traffic. Unlocked and opened the door to their English Tudor house with haste. Was it even ‘their’ house? Were they even a real family?

“Naomi’s fine. But we’re not. Sit down. We need to talk.”

“Are you _fucking serious_?” Daveed yelled.

“We all have better things to be doing right now that dealing with your petty shit, y/n,” Ant yelled.

“Fucking listen, ok? Yes, I made y’all come home over _petty shit_ , but that’s the fucking problem. Y’all don’t care about me. If one of you had something wrong, the rest of us would be by your side in a heartbeat. But where does that leave me? You don’t care about me, I’m not even your wife, I’m your fucking maid. When was the last time y’all did your chores? Months ago? Years ago? And you don’t even care about the kids, you just come home for a few hours each month to see them so you can convince yourselves you’re not shitty people, then fuck me and leave! You,” she pointed a finger at Oak, “You were the one that was so insistent that we all stay home to watch the kids instead of hiring a stranger to raise our kids. What part of ‘we all’ do you guys not get? You can’t even tell Taylor and Abela apart, and they’re fraternal, for Christ’s sake! I’m not fucking perfect, I know, but _pray tell_ , tell me what the fuck I did to deserve this?” y/n’s eyes stung with unshed tears. Her boys looked mad. No, not _her_ boys, _the_ boys looked mad. Like her words didn’t reach them, bounced off their foreheads. “I’m leaving. Don’t hold your breath about me coming back.”

“Shut the _fuck_ up and stop being a dramatic little bitch. You’ll be back before it’s dark,” Lin said with confidence.

“Don’t fucking count on it,” y/n spat, and left without another word. Didn’t grab her keys or phone or wallet or anything.

☆          ☆          ★          ☆          ☆

y/n burst into Gale’s house, went straight for the bathroom. Grabbed the razor blades from the cabinet and ripped them out of the package. Cut two lines down her arms so deep she saw muscle. Blood from an artery squirted out without any intention of slowing down or stopping.

There was a knock at the door. _Oh fuck fuck fuck I’m gonna get blood all over Gale’s floor and she’s gonna hate me. Oh god, what did I just do? The boys are gonna have to stay home and watch the kids now and they won’t be able to work anymore and they’re gonna hate me. I’m so stupid I should’ve just dealt with my problems myself like a fucking adult. Their lives are gonna be ruined and they’re gonna hate me and it’s all gonna be my fault._ The knocking at the door stopped momentarily but was soon replaced by the telltale sound of the lock being picked.

Repeated the cuts on her right arm after stepping into the tub. _Tubs are easy to wash out, this way Gale won’t be as mad at me. Oh, god, I hope they don’t hold a funeral for. It’ll be so fucking expensive and time-consuming. Time the boys don’t have and money they’ll hate to be spending on something stupid like this._

The lock broke and everything was dark.

☆          ☆          ★          ☆          ☆

“Daveed!” Gale screamed into the phone.

“What’s up? Is y/n coming back soon or what?”

Daveed didn’t hear the next part, focused all of his attention on resuming kissing Anthony.

“I’m sorry, what was that? I wasn’t paying attention,” he said casually.

“That’s the fucking point, you piece of shit! This wouldn’t have happened if you guys gave her an ounce of attention!”

“Seriously, the fuck are you talking about, Gale?”

Gale took a breath and screamed. “She’s in the fucking hospital because she tried to kill herself you deaf fucker! She’s in surgery right now because she opened a fucking artery! And it’s a toss up on whether or not she even makes it through the night because of how much fucking blood she lost!”

Daveed didn’t know what to say. “W-what should I do?” he stammered.

“Figure that out on your fucking own. If you wanna see her she’ll be in H-17 after surgery.”

“Oh. Ok. Thanks,” he said, and hung up. He turned to Anthony. “Please go tell Lin and Oak what happened.” When Ant didn’t move right away, he shouted “GO FUCKING TELL THEM” and the freckled boy scrambled off.

Daveed dropped his phone and took in a shuddering breath. His arms wrapped around himself, nails clawing so tight he thought he might bleed. Didn’t care if he did. Let out an ugly sob and fell to the floor. Punched the wall and slammed his head on the bed frame. Wanted to be in her place, deserved that kind of pain with the way he treated her. Remembered all too perfectly everytime he came home to fuck her and leave before she woke the next morning. All the times they would do a scene and would neglect to do anything even resembling aftercare. The way she whimpered after a scene, believing every nasty thing he said to her. Remembered not being there for the birth of one of the kids that were truly his. Not being there to comfort y/n in finding out that Charity had been a stillbirth.

Didn’t want to take away y/n’s pain and shoulder it. Wanted to take away y/n’s pain and inflict it on himself, wanted a second chance to love her as he should’ve. Wanted y/n to die so she wouldn’t have to live through any more agony. But first he had to tell her he was sorry and that he loved her. Or at least that he should’ve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure exactly when I'll have part 2 out, but it should be soon! Happy Halloween!


	4. PART 2

It was quiet in that uncomfortable way that could only be cured by leaving. Lin’s expression begged for an kind of noise. Anthony heard his plea and talked listlessly about his last tour. No one heard what he said, it all went in one ear and out the other.

☆          ☆          ★          ☆          ☆

Naomi didn’t like this place. There was a ringing phone and no one would answer it. The room smelled really bad, and it was all white and gray. And who were these people? Who was the man holding her? Mamá said to not go near strangers, but she didn’t know where Mamá was, so she had nowhere to go. And these guys were kinda familiar. She thought they got her cool stuff last Christmas, but she couldn’t be sure. All she could remember was that Mamá put her and Seba up for a nap, and when they woke up, Mamá was gone.

She turned to Seba “Don-” stopped when she remembered hearing one of these guys saying something in Spanish. Didn’t want them to hear what she was gonna say. “ _ Wo ist Mamá? _ ” she asked. Hoped that they didn’t know German. Sebastian shrugged.

Naomi broke out in sobs. She didn’t  _ want _ to be at this weird place, she wanted to be at home with Mamá, and go to the park like they did every Wednesday, wanted somebody she knew she was supposed to trust. “Auntie Gaaaaaale,” she heaved/screached, kicked when the guy tried to pull her closer.

☆          ☆          ★          ☆          ☆

Lin was at a loss. Naomi was, quite literally, kicking and screaming, and he had no clue what to do. Knew that when she was younger, milk would soothe her, but that was almost four years ago. “Let  _ go _ !” she squealed, pulling on his hair. He was Naomi’s  _ Papá _ , and she didn’t even recognize him, for fuck’s sake. Finally let y/n’s words set in. Never believed in a god before, but now he was praying to anyone who could hear that he would have a chance to make things right before it was too late.

“Do you wanna go see Mommy?” he asked.

“ _ Mamá, _ ” she corrected after settling down. “Yes, please.”

☆          ☆          ★          ☆          ☆

When they got to H-17, Naomi ran straight towards Gale. Anthony’s breath hitched when he saw y/n in the hospital bed, stitches up and down her arm and wearing an oxygen mask. Oak squeezed his hand. He wasn’t sad or upset. Just angry that he had been so ignorant.

☆          ☆          ★          ☆          ☆

It didn’t completely set into Oak’s mind what had happened until he woke up in a metal hospital chair the next morning. Held her face and kissed her forehead. “Forgive me,” he whispered. He turned his head towards the door when he heard a noise. Lin came in carrying a few bags of food.

“I brought breakfast,” he said timidly.

Oak nodded in acknowledgment and took half the bags from Lin to set them down. Put his hands on Lin’s waist under his shirt and kissed him slow and sweet. Needed to know that he was here, he was alive, he was ok.

☆          ☆          ★          ☆          ☆

Oxygen mask came off after four days. y/n woke up from the coma(as a result of hitting her head on the towel rack when she fell) after more than seven weeks. Started blubbering out an apology for leaving and getting blood on Gale’s floor as soon as she was coherent enough to remember anything that happened. Naomi hugged and wouldn’t let go. Didn’t let the boys touch her. Didn’t trust them just yet. Let Gale hold her hand. Listened as the boys promise that they would spend every second of the rest of their lives fixing what they had done, spend every second showing her that they loved her.

It would take weeks, months, but they were gonna be ok.

It was gonna be ok.


End file.
